"Everybody Has A Testimony"... Here's Mine...

HERE'S MY PERSONAL TESTIMONY

I started exercising at the age of 15, but I didn’t take it seriously. I didn’t become serious until the age of 19. I was tall, had hardly any muscles a small pot-belly and my butt was to big so I thought. “Boy what a visual”… OK let’s move on … “I don’t want to stay there too long!” One of my cousins would always tease me because he was well built and had all the girls; I won’t say his name.

The older I got, the more I began to become self-conscious about my physical appearance. It’s not like I was 60 pounds over weight or even 30 pounds over weight, I just didn’t have muscles where most other guys had them. Actually I had more body fat than muscle; but the good thing was that I was tall, my height made me appear to look ok to some people. Even though I hated being tall! When I was young it seemed that all the shorter guys were well known, bullies or they played in all the school sports and seemed to be having all the fun.

I didn’t know at the time that I had low self-esteem … as a matter of fact at that time I didn’t know what low self-esteem was. Even so I decided to go on a fitness quest, but I took a disastrous approach that almost killed me. I’ll get back to this on the next page so look for it.

Before I get into that I want to tell you what happened to me when I was in the 7th grade. I’ll never forget it; it changed my whole outlook on life as a teenager. It turned me in to a victim that wanted revenge!

I was attending one of the toughest junior high school in the inner city, where fights broke out all the time. Little did I know that I would be in the fight of my life! To keep this brief, I got jumped by about 12-15 guys and it happened in a place where it was nothing but rocks, bottles, sticks and trash. Every time I think about it I get angry and wish I could have kicked some ass that day! But it was no way, once the first sneak attack hit me I went down and all I could do is roll up like a ball and take every hit, punches, kicks, bricks, sticks and bottles.

When it was all over all I could do is run back into the school for help as I saw the blood from my head, my nose and right below my left eye. Needless to say they called for an ambulance and off I went to the hospital. I did not cry through the whole ordeal until my mother showed up with tears in her eyes.

I must have shut down the nerves in my system for pain because I tolerated the whole beat-down and never cried because of the pain that I didn’t feel. But when I looked in the mirror I cried inside and I wanted to kill those guys for what they did to me! Now after that incident I changed into a so-called gangster and wanted to be tuff and carry guns and knives. Even so I decided to go on a fitness quest, but I took a disastrous approach that almost killed me. I share this because I don’t want anyone to do what I did.

Not knowing what I was getting into, I started taking pills to lose weight. Not the stuff you get from your local pharmacy or health food stores. I started taking the stuff that Joe Blow was selling on the street corners. I started taking uppers (speed) the stuff that gave you a false sense of energy so you can get the job done, whatever the job was. That stuff kept me going for days I found myself doing all kinds of things in record time.

By the way I lost the weight but it was muscle not fat. I was on a downward spiral … Body, Mind and Spirit! I found myself on some of the wildest street corners you could imagine. North & Longwood, Liberty Heights & Garrison, Park Heights & Belvedere and Greenmount Ave. wherever the drugs were I had been there. Those corners were like a war zone then, and now it’s even worst.

I was arrested three times in the same year for possession of drugs. Everything I did had become centered on trying to get another high; mind you I didn’t have a clue that I had become addicted. I forgot all about trying to lose the little pot-belly and big butt. It was all about getting and using some mind-mood altering chemical. You see I suffered from low self-esteem when I was in my early teens and nobody new it. I didn’t find out about it until I was about 29 years of age and I didn’t know what to do about it.

So I continued using drugs and alcohol until I couldn’t stand myself. I was about 31 years old when I looked in the mirror; I hated what I saw. I finally asked myself why am I doing this to myself? But it wasn’t over, that was the beginning of the end of this vicious cycle. I had use every drug you can think of only to find myself to be psyched out again … there is no way out I thought to myself. I have to have it or I can’t function on a daily basis (so I thought.)

One early morning about 4:15 am I was over a friend’s house, it was about eight people in the house. We were all high on cocaine that I had supplied and we ran out. I was the dealer at that time and I was sick and tired of being sick and tired! They wanted more cocaine and I was the only one who could get it. I got a phone call from someone else who wanted some too. The people in the kitchen were bugging me to go and cop, the person on the phone was bugging me to bring some to them as well.

The person I lived with had been waiting all night for me to return with her stuff. I finally realized what I had become and again I hated what I saw but could not escape it. It had consumed me for life; I finally hopped in somebody’s car and went to pick up the package. It was four in the morning, I’m driving like a bat out of hell drinking Jack Daniels out of the bottle hoping to crash the car and end it all.

I called on God to help me stop this madness, this vicious cycle of getting high, selling drugs only to supply my needs. I made it back to the house did what I knew best and past out on the couch. I could go on and on, but I think you get the picture. However I finally mustered up the courage to ask God for another chance at life and he granted me that prayer. One night I stayed up by myself getting high until about 4:00 am and had to be at work at 5:00 am. As tear drops began to swell up in my eyes, I got down on my knees and began to pray to God.

I asked Him to please forgive me for my sins. I also asked Him to please help me stop abusing myself. I asked Him to help me find a better way to live, because I know this is not how you want me to live. But I also knew that I can’t do this by myself, please help me LORD! The tears began to rush out of my eyes and down my face. By the time I finished crying and sniffling like a big baby I began to feel a sense of calmness and a great source of strength that I had never possessed before!

I can’t even explain it … that source of strength was so strong that I knew it was from God. I had made a covenant with God that morning. I vowed to never ever use another mind-mood altering chemical as long as I live, if He would guide me and show me the way up and out of the sin and misery I was living in.

I went to work and began to think about my life and how I WAS GOING TO CHANGE IT, as if I could do it on my own. I believe God stepped in right then and there and He reminded me that I was no longer in charge of my life anymore, I belonged to Him now!

I shook myself off and got the help I so desperately needed. I remembered when I admitted myself into a treatment facility for my addiction; on the second day they took us to a twelve-step meeting. I heard a lot of good information that I could relate to and it has stuck with me. So I decided to investigate and find out more about getting into a twelve-step program after my release to put me on the right path. Some people think it’s a cult or something, but it definitely worked for me.

It actually helped me get closer to my God … by the way this book is not about how to stop using drugs and alcohol, or twelve-step programs. I simply felt compelled to tell you a little bit about who I am and how I got to where I am today. Remember by the time I realized where my life was headed I had lost everything; family, self-worth, self-esteem, pride, respect, material possessions and most important … I had lost me!

… But guess what I found out? I found out that I was not the person that I thought I was and I was not doing a good job of running my own life. I found out while I was on my knees that Jesus died for me so that I could live for Him and help somebody else … maybe to recover from addiction; be it from drugs & alcohol, over eating, under eating, smoking, inactiveness and obesity. There are many, many addictions that some people don’t know about. I also found out that … I Can Do All Things Through Christ … Which Strengthens Me!

When I realized that Christ had to be the center of my life that’s when my life had become whole. I was trying to fill a hole in my life with drugs and alcohol and had become addicted, when all I needed was Him who has everything I would ever need in life.

So the first thing that I did was thanked God for the guidance that I needed. I now know for certain that God will send you the help that you need, He will guide you to places that you need to be at, He will give you the things that you want and need and He will send you the people to show you the way up and out.

The second thing I did was start an exercise regimen to keep my mind focused on what God would have me to do. I then began to feel refreshed, recharged and renewed. I felt 100% better about myself so I started buying fitness equipment. It seemed I had picked up another addiction, but this was a good one. I worked out almost everyday for a while until I started studying the proper way to exercise. I enjoyed how it made me feel so much, I wanted to share that feeling with other people who needed to get in shape and be uplifted at the same time. It was as if I were obsessed with exercise and buying equipment.

This exercise thing had become a great hobby and an outlet for me. It kept me focused, positive, energized, high spirited and confident. One night I had a dream, it seemed so real. I woke up in the middle of the night it was about 4:00 am. (4:00 am again!) It seems that everything that was a turning point in my life happened at about 4:00 in the morning. I don’t know what that’s all about but it happened and I’ll never forget it! I woke Teresa up and told her about my dream.

The dream was about me being a certified personal fitness trainer and the owner of a fitness center. My wife Teresa was also in the dream, she was teaching aerobics and we had nutritional products and supplements at the front counter. This dream was so real that I could feel it, see it and grab hold of it. That was about 14 years ago. I am now the proud founder and owner of…

Fit For Life Personal Training® Feel Free To Email Me With Any Questions!